You know, it's probably the carbon monoxide levels....

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Who: Dera and Yama
When: Some time after the damn company softball game.
What: Well, and then there were Thunderbirds.

Dera leaned his head back against the overly warm metal and giggled tiredly. Yes, he giggled. It all seemed so damn stupid now. It had been a normal day after all. Yama had been stretched out in the break room after the morning workouts, and he'd been reading a book, his legs draped over his partners...granted, it was a safer book than normal, but no point in taking chances. So, yeah, a normal afternoon mingling with the other agents before getting called off to the office.

It seemed a good week for monster migration. Everyone was getting pulled, their personal assignment? Get their asses to California and tag the first pair of Thunderbirds anyone had seen in decades. Tag. Like they were fucking Bald Eagles or something.

Sure, they were endangered and sure they were awesome as fuck and all that? But tagging. For fucks sake! Their lead had suggested drugging the cattle being stolen so the birds would sleep. Simple plan. Yeah.

Except the fucking BIRDS HADN'T EATEN THE DAMN COWS. One of the pair had scooped up unripe burger and they'd flown off, they were halfway along the flight trail in tailing the pair when the damn things came back. He'd been the one to reach out and grip Yama's wrist; they couldn't kill the birds...plus a sword would be a VERY BAD IDEA with LIGHTNING BIRDS. It wasn't exactly magic, his partner's powers might not cancel out a natural ability like energy conduction.

FUCK FUCK FUCK "Kiss the dirt!" DOWN DOWN DOWN!

The birds were grabbing more cows.

THE FUCK WOULD THEY NEED MORE COWS FOR?

In hindsight he should have figured that one out; when they ran out of cows to snag they went after anything that even moved. Or after anything that had a bioeletric impulse system. He was pretty sure they sensed nerve conduction. And it kinda fucking hurt when they got picked up by giant birds and yanked upward fast enough to force a nosebleed and then blacking out.

Why did normally private creatures migrate across country borders?

Nesting.

FUCKING NESTING.

The thunderbirds were set up in the local electric company; the factory burned coal and coke if the scrubbers and smoke stacks were any indication. And more importantly there was always a dim layer of smog before the tops of the exhaust vents were visible. The birds were practically invisible in their chosen heights. They had pulled the top scrubber out of one stack and were stuffing cows (and agents) down in the space between the main cycler and the outer steel plating. Apparently babies preferred their meat smoked. He came to with his head stuffed at an awkward angle under Yama's arm, his chin bearing the brunt of his weight since most of his body was wedged above his damn chin and against Yama....and cow. Well then. He was kind of grateful he hadn't broken his damn neck in the drop?

The birds were sitting at the top of the smoke pipe. They were blocking smoke release.

And CO2 release.

And that was probably why he giggled helplessly once he managed to wiggle off his damn chin. "Shiiiiiit....this can kill us!" Carbon Monoxide poisoning was not a dignified way to go really.

Comments

[kaerunoko]

He would need to be, yes, and he was already starting to move on, but Gokudera could probably hear the frown in his voice. "Is that a great idea in a space this small?" What if this was one of the few times something else decided to follow Gokudera in?

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"I don't know," he admitted honestly, "but I also have your spare sword in a pocket and a monster can damn well eat dead cow if it pops through my rift."

[kaerunoko]

Well, he'd needed the laugh, if nothing else. "Aw, and here I thought you were making friends."

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Nah, you'd get fucking jealous." JUST SAYING.

[kaerunoko]

"Hey, I don't get jealous of you having friends!" Not that Gokudera had a lot of other friends to make him test that statement. "Haha, at least not imaginary dead cow friends."

His head felt clearer, so he left his newest air hole behind, moving even farther up, and... hey, if he squirmed over this cow's head, he was almost positive he could see light filtering through whatever they'd make their nest out of.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Nah, these fuckers would get boring in under a day so it's just not worth the emotional investment and shit," he snorted. Ah, he was starting to get that prickle along the back of his neck that meant Yama and his dampening field were inching out of range! Awesome. "Need your spare sword? I can't fucking see up to you to see if you lost yours."

[kaerunoko]

"Nah, I've still got it. Strap's pretty sturdy, huh?" He chuckled, but the tech guys had had it made out of basilisk or something insane like that, so it should be. They'd been awfully excited at the time, so he'd just let them talk, but he hadn't paid that much attention. "If you need me back down there, yell, okay?"

Funny, how once upon a time he and Gokudera had managed to do all this existing and stuff by themselves. Not that they'd really been all that good at it alone, but they'd managed. The chuckling turned to snickering, and it was time to open up a new air hole.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Hey, have to check, if they'd shaken you around like a rag doll or something you could totally need to fish it out of the trees or something!" he laughed tiredly. "If I scream like a girl come save me." JUST SAYING.

And yeah, well, those were the dark, lonely ages right? Life was more comfortable now.

Right. Time to reach and see what they could get out of a tiny hole. Well, first there was damn nice cool, AC was an awesome benefit when stuffed in a smoke pipe right? Numbing darkness yawned past his fingers, then he plunged his arm in up to the elbow to feel around. Hmmm. "Oh, hey, those acid leeches we froze in here!"

[kaerunoko]

Okay, that snicker didn't have anything to do with the lack of air. "How'll I tell the difference?"

Life would be a lot more comfortable once they were in better surroundings. He paused again once he'd gotten a good handhold on what appeared to be an entire small tree, roots and leaves and all. They must have been in a hurry to build a nest over their hoard. "What're we gonna do with acid leeches? Pretty sure HQ would frown on giving them leeches."

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Use your fucking discretion then ass," Dera snorted.

And, well, "Hold them to outer wall and cut some holes easier?" They were instant airhole machines? Anyway, moving on. "Think I'm just going to leave this one open a bit and climb, it's sucking the fumes and air already tastes better down here."

[kaerunoko]

"Yeah, but then we'd have to deal with acid burns and the birds, probably." And who wanted to deal with either one, let alone both at once?

He tugged at the tree to feel it shift slightly. "So this nest looks a lot more solid from the bottom than we figured, I think." His voice was still light, but Gokudera should be used to listening for his 'well, fuck' tone by now.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

They did, obviously, given where they worked! "Well, I'll keep them as Plan B then." JUST SAYING ACID COULD BE USEFUL SOMETIMES! That or they'd find out acid leeches were a thunderbird delicacy or something and they pair would tame down and beg for the little wormy things? Weirder things had happened!

Well...fuck. "Shit. What will we need to get through it?" He asked grimly.

[kaerunoko]

No. No, there were plenty of other things than giant birds that tried to eat them and glorified evil slugs to enjoy about this job. They were not it.

"Chainsaw?" That'd be nice, but also probably counter to their original purpose of not killing the endangered species. "Or some way of going out through the wall instead of up. Probably safer, too. Pretty sure they'd just try to eat the first thing that popped up underneath them."

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Hahah, you wouldn't let me stick a chainsaw in a hole remember?" Something about alien tentacled horrors emerging armed with rotating saw blades!

He was a spoilsport sometimes.

"...ice climbing gear? That'll let us climb down the outside..."

[kaerunoko]

Hey, that was a perfectly valid worry, considering it was the entire reason they'd been teamed up in the first place. Well, tentacled horrors, anyway. Not so much with chainsaws.

Yet.

"Kinda noisy, though." He was poking and tugging on the bottom of the nest, still considering it. "That'd probably get us eaten, too." Lots of things would get them eaten on this mission, apparently.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Aw, nothing about hitting it off or actually being able to tolerate each other? That had to count for something, right?

Granted, he might have tried to get along with anyone that kept him from being locked away in stasis as a threat. Tried being the operative term.

Maybe.

Okay yeah he had a fucking temper.

"Yeah, well, option for getting us back down once we figure all the shit out." Alright, what would actually be useful...? "We switch places, I set up the hole just under the nest, the cold chases them off?"

[kaerunoko]

Well, sure, but a lot of that all came after. The tentacled horrors were the original reason for getting shoved together to begin with.

"Think it'd work?" Cause it was definitely the best idea so far, and if they were desert critters, they probably wouldn't enjoy a cold draft. "...Think we can get away with just tagging the nest and letting someone else come finish up?"

Because he wasn't even sure he cared about getting away with it so much as getting away right now.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Well, they're nesting," Dera admitted thoughtfully. "They may hunker down and fucking try to keep the eggs warm." Which meant they could probably still tag the bastards? By reaching up through the nest.

Fuck.

"want to risk it?"

[kaerunoko]

"...Not like I have any better ideas. There's a little more room up here, so you come up first." He'd just... try to see how far down they could go while Gokudera played air conditioner.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Gotta love when we're out of options," he snorted, closing the hole and starting back upward. No point taking it up into Yama's range after all.

"...I love your idea if of 'a little more room'," he snorted once her was squeezed next to his partner.

[kaerunoko]

"Hey, my elbow's not in your neck up here. That's more room, right?" It was enough room for them to get past each other, and that was all he needed. And without a cowhead in the way, too. Double bonus.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Only because your hands aren't up above your head," otherwise there would TOTALLY be elbows in his neck! "Not like people aren't going to ask about the fucking interesting bruises anyway though." Seriously, the one thing the BPRD liked better than monsters was gossip.

Oh well, not like they weren't used to it.

"And seriously, move your ass Takeshi. Nice as this is, well, larders just aren't my fucking thing." Yes, that was pure teasing now, but they needed it today.

[kaerunoko]

There was always talk when they came back from missions. If they weren't used to it by now, something was wrong.

"Really? Coulda fooled me!" They really did need the teasing, though, especially as Yamamoto started the precarious climb back down to where they'd started.

He thought he'd name the cow Miki. One of the girls who'd confessed to him when he was still in school had been named Miki and she'd sorta had cow-eyes. Less glassy and dead, but the intent was there.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Eh, they were one of the more interesting pairs in their division? At least Monica-dating-the-ex-nazi-revenant was more interesting most days of the week?

"Well, when you put it like that..." Dera drawled, leaning on a tree...root? Yeah, that was a whole fucking tangle of ROOTS..."you were complaining that I never get you out anywhere nice." And here they were, cozy atmosphere, euphoric air, interesting athletic challenges...

"That's the silence of you being weird down there." JUST SAYING. As soon as Yama was out of range he opened a larger hole, aimed upward at the nest bottom. Here was to hoping the birds didn't like central cooling.

[kaerunoko]

And as long as either of them avoided becoming an ex-Nazi-revenant, hopefully it'd stay that way.

"It's still true. Haha, anywhere you have to seriously consider unfreezing a bunch of leeches can't be that nice." Not that he normally complained all that much, current situation notwithstanding. Most of the time he even liked his job. When it didn't involve Miki the Dead Wonder Cow. "While you're up there, having a break, I'm digging through dead stuff trying to see if there's a better exit down here, and the thanks I get?" He shook his head, making a sad tsk-ing sound. "Harsh, Gokudera."