You know, it's probably the carbon monoxide levels....

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Who: Dera and Yama
When: Some time after the damn company softball game.
What: Well, and then there were Thunderbirds.

Dera leaned his head back against the overly warm metal and giggled tiredly. Yes, he giggled. It all seemed so damn stupid now. It had been a normal day after all. Yama had been stretched out in the break room after the morning workouts, and he'd been reading a book, his legs draped over his partners...granted, it was a safer book than normal, but no point in taking chances. So, yeah, a normal afternoon mingling with the other agents before getting called off to the office.

It seemed a good week for monster migration. Everyone was getting pulled, their personal assignment? Get their asses to California and tag the first pair of Thunderbirds anyone had seen in decades. Tag. Like they were fucking Bald Eagles or something.

Sure, they were endangered and sure they were awesome as fuck and all that? But tagging. For fucks sake! Their lead had suggested drugging the cattle being stolen so the birds would sleep. Simple plan. Yeah.

Except the fucking BIRDS HADN'T EATEN THE DAMN COWS. One of the pair had scooped up unripe burger and they'd flown off, they were halfway along the flight trail in tailing the pair when the damn things came back. He'd been the one to reach out and grip Yama's wrist; they couldn't kill the birds...plus a sword would be a VERY BAD IDEA with LIGHTNING BIRDS. It wasn't exactly magic, his partner's powers might not cancel out a natural ability like energy conduction.

FUCK FUCK FUCK "Kiss the dirt!" DOWN DOWN DOWN!

The birds were grabbing more cows.

THE FUCK WOULD THEY NEED MORE COWS FOR?

In hindsight he should have figured that one out; when they ran out of cows to snag they went after anything that even moved. Or after anything that had a bioeletric impulse system. He was pretty sure they sensed nerve conduction. And it kinda fucking hurt when they got picked up by giant birds and yanked upward fast enough to force a nosebleed and then blacking out.

Why did normally private creatures migrate across country borders?

Nesting.

FUCKING NESTING.

The thunderbirds were set up in the local electric company; the factory burned coal and coke if the scrubbers and smoke stacks were any indication. And more importantly there was always a dim layer of smog before the tops of the exhaust vents were visible. The birds were practically invisible in their chosen heights. They had pulled the top scrubber out of one stack and were stuffing cows (and agents) down in the space between the main cycler and the outer steel plating. Apparently babies preferred their meat smoked. He came to with his head stuffed at an awkward angle under Yama's arm, his chin bearing the brunt of his weight since most of his body was wedged above his damn chin and against Yama....and cow. Well then. He was kind of grateful he hadn't broken his damn neck in the drop?

The birds were sitting at the top of the smoke pipe. They were blocking smoke release.

And CO2 release.

And that was probably why he giggled helplessly once he managed to wiggle off his damn chin. "Shiiiiiit....this can kill us!" Carbon Monoxide poisoning was not a dignified way to go really.

Comments

[kaerunoko]

Time traveling should be like Vegas. What happened in 1933, stays in 1933.

Yamamoto snickered, knee-deep in rodents, and wasn't this the life. "I can totally name it from down here! They all look the same, anyway. Maybe we could just keep a running count. Blowhole 1, Blowhole 2... You know, keep it simple."

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Shit never stayed in 1933. It was a crappy year. Vegas was an idea though.

"Tell me the other shit you've named instead," Dera snorted, peering down at the man. "I know you. Who the fuck are our temporary companions in this fucking stackpike?"

[kaerunoko]

"I don't think Miki appreciates being called names, Gokudera." So maybe it was one of those weird stress reactions that the counselor on payroll liked to sigh a lot over. At least it was a relatively harmless one?

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"...the fuck is Miki?" Because why not? It's not like they had anything better to talk about right now!

[kaerunoko]

"The cow." Well, one of the cows, or maybe all of the cows? He made it sound so perfectly reasonable, though.

"Hey, changed my mind. Toss my spare sword down here, will you?" It was sharper and more durable than his boot knife, and he was less attached to it than his normal sword, so it would be perfect for trying to cut a way out and see how high up they were.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

The beef mass was named Miki? "Someone you thought highly of," obviously. "And people think you're the polite one." Sheesh.

...of course he'd change his mind. Right. Time to reach up into the hole again. "Make up your fucking mind already. Good enough not good enough, just the...oh. Frog." As in 'BIG As FROG IN THE HOLE HAS MY ARM NOW YAY.'

He hated frogs.

[kaerunoko]

Why was Gokudera such a packrat? If he didn't let the big ass frogs hang around so much... "You need me?" Miki was entirely forgotten and Yamamoto's focus back on the task at hand, so at least that part was maybe a plus?

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"...not yet?" He decided, leaning into his hole to beat on the damn thing. And hey, it wasn't like he collected them! Frogmen monsters were kinda like tentacle monster foot soldiers or something! They just kinda HAPPENED out there in hole-land!

Hell, they'd probably drawn it's attention by keeping this hole open so long to cool the nest above.

"Would it piss you off if I told you it's touching your sword?"

[kaerunoko]

Yes, but they especially seemed to enjoy 'just happening' around Gokudera's storage. Or maybe it was just the holes he used. Or maybe both. Yeah, their lives, probably both.

His eyes narrowed. "It's touching my sword, or it's trying to eat my sword?"

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Yeah, well, they hadn't found anyone (alive) who could open holes like Dera so far okay? It could just be any damn hole that sparkled in their darkness drew their attention!

"Unless it's started chewing with it's feet, not eating." Nope. "You want him if I can pull him through?" Yama hadn't got to kill anything yet this mission, he needed a treat, right?

[kaerunoko]

He hadn't, and he did, but his hesitation and eventual sigh said he realized it probably wouldn't be the best idea right now. "No room, and our luck, it'd get loose and we'd get blamed for it."

It'd be their fault, so they should, but that was beside the point.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Awww, not up to playing tag the frog with your dead cow friend Miki down there?" he teased, leaning further up into the hole to do something vicious to the damn thing. "I can get you another one later when we have elbow room..." Because he was a good partner and all.

[kaerunoko]

Yamamoto just laughed, because Gokudera was a very good partner. "Aww, you do care."

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Care and feeding of the Takeshi," he snorted, blue-purple blood suddenly dripping from his hole. Ugh. "End of the day you're a hunter, you're dangerous, and so god damn compelling it's almost more frightening than anything else!" And that meant getting his partner things to keep him happy! Baseballs, chew toys, things to kill!

[kaerunoko]

"Wow, that many compliments in one day? Either you're going soft or something even worse is going to happen." And he really did not want anything worse to happen, okay? Really not.

And Gokudera shouldn't get him a chew toy again. That joke wasn't nearly as amusing as he thought it was even the first time.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Hey, if he hadn't wanted a chew toy he shouldn't have chewed on that damn lake monster. Besides, it was a dentabone, whitened as he chewed!

"Gee, I'm fucking up here trying not to get frog blood all over your stored things and you think I'm complimenting you?" Okay, yes, as far as things Dera appreciated he was but still. Oh, hey, that ominous crunching noise? That was the bird get uncomfortable above, finally! "Sword." He could catch, right?

[kaerunoko]

He didn't chew on the lake monster. He bit the lake monster, and only because it bit him first!

(Okay, so maybe sometimes he thought the research team was just a little right that he might have a second power that no one knew was there cause his main power voided everything that got near him to check. Maybe. Sometimes.)

More or less catch, yes. The fact that it had to slide down the animalanche instead of dropping right at him helped, too. If that also meant it slid through frog blood, at least he could wipe that off. "Gonna get a little noisy down here. Hey, maybe that'll get them to move faster!" Ever the optimist.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Bit, chew, it looked the same from the shore a panicked partner had been pounded into okay? Best they could say was at least the damn thing had a taste for dynamite and was too stupid to know better?

Totally. Dera was ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CONVINCED OF THIS FACT YES!

"And that's different from when? You start really getting into things and it gets noisy, even when you're cleaning and shit." JUST SAYING! "I'm going to inch the hole up, start swallowing the bottom of the nest," because endangered or no, roosting or no, they couldn't leave a giant nest blocking a smokepipe.

[kaerunoko]

Eh, they both survived it, didn't they? And at least it was clean. There were not enough showers in the world to make up for today.

"Different noisy." But he'd concede the point. "Just be careful not to bring it down on you, huh? Remember that time you collapsed the giant rat tunnels and trapped us inside with the horde of 'em?" He didn't wait for an answer, wiggling a bit to give himself the most room to work, and plunged the sword through the outside wall. The knives had at least been short. A full sword's worth of steel screeching against the outside metal wasn't pleasant.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Well, they could probably expense a sauna trip after this?

"Yeah, well, as long as you're not screaming and shit..." he noted with a shrug. That was the only noise he really worried about from Yama? Sure, there were some other worrisome noises in the lexicon but no reason to list them right now! "That was a fucking executive decision to prevent a swarm hitting the underground mall," he pointed out. "And you've got a hard head, relax." Besides, the hole was between them and the nest bits now?

It wasn't foolproof, but hey, better than hanging out with Miki and friends until they baked.

[kaerunoko]

Oooh, with those little hot towels? He really liked the little hot towels.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what you say now." There was just something to be said for the cutting power of a sword forged by a metal elemental. He stopped with a rough arch big enough to lean through if not climb through, leaning back to kick the metal until it started to bend outward.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"One of us has to be fucking laid back today." It was kind of mandatory as far as the outside world was concerned or some shit?

HOLY FUCK YEAH THAT WAS NOISE.

Worse? There a screech that sounded equal parts annoyed and full of thunder clouds. Fuck. "You've got company coming. Got those fucking tags on you still?" They'd both taken a set in case one or the other had a chance at both birds?

[kaerunoko]

That... was a very good question. He patted himself down as the screeching circled the tower, eventually freezing guiltily. "Uh..." He laughed nervously. "Oops?"

He'd totally had them earlier! There'd just been a lot happening since.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Well, yes, he would make allowances for being plucked up and shaken by a giant bird. The director wouldn't, but Dera would!

"You just fucking said oops didn't you?" JUST TO BE CLEAR! "These are fucking damp, frog blood is a bitch, but they'll work. You just fucking actually tag it okay? I don't want to have to come back and do this shit again." Drippy tags being dropped his way? Check.

[kaerunoko]

"Haha, maybe?" If Gokudera was repeating things back at him, that was never a good sign. Better to deny. Maybe.

He'd put up with the frog blood, though, somehow. Even if he did grimace a little when he caught them. The screeching outside grew louder and he drew in a deep breath, trying to ignore the smell of the blood which was almost worse than how it looked. He really didn't want to do this again, either, but that meant letting the bird get damn close before he did anything, and he just wasn't a fan. Why couldn't they go back to easy jobs?

Right, because they were stupid, possibly suicidal, and really good at what they did.

Second-best sword in hand, best sword in its case on his back, and tags ready, he waited. This was probably one of those 'only get one chance' situations. "Wish me luck?"