unrelenting_rhapsody | You know, it's probably the carbon monoxide levels....

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You know, it's probably the carbon monoxide levels....

Who: Dera and Yama
When: Some time after the damn company softball game.
What: Well, and then there were Thunderbirds.

Dera leaned his head back against the overly warm metal and giggled tiredly. Yes, he giggled. It all seemed so damn stupid now. It had been a normal day after all. Yama had been stretched out in the break room after the morning workouts, and he'd been reading a book, his legs draped over his partners...granted, it was a safer book than normal, but no point in taking chances. So, yeah, a normal afternoon mingling with the other agents before getting called off to the office.

It seemed a good week for monster migration. Everyone was getting pulled, their personal assignment? Get their asses to California and tag the first pair of Thunderbirds anyone had seen in decades. Tag. Like they were fucking Bald Eagles or something.

Sure, they were endangered and sure they were awesome as fuck and all that? But tagging. For fucks sake! Their lead had suggested drugging the cattle being stolen so the birds would sleep. Simple plan. Yeah.

Except the fucking BIRDS HADN'T EATEN THE DAMN COWS. One of the pair had scooped up unripe burger and they'd flown off, they were halfway along the flight trail in tailing the pair when the damn things came back. He'd been the one to reach out and grip Yama's wrist; they couldn't kill the birds...plus a sword would be a VERY BAD IDEA with LIGHTNING BIRDS. It wasn't exactly magic, his partner's powers might not cancel out a natural ability like energy conduction.

FUCK FUCK FUCK "Kiss the dirt!" DOWN DOWN DOWN!

The birds were grabbing more cows.

THE FUCK WOULD THEY NEED MORE COWS FOR?

In hindsight he should have figured that one out; when they ran out of cows to snag they went after anything that even moved. Or after anything that had a bioeletric impulse system. He was pretty sure they sensed nerve conduction. And it kinda fucking hurt when they got picked up by giant birds and yanked upward fast enough to force a nosebleed and then blacking out.

Why did normally private creatures migrate across country borders?

Nesting.

FUCKING NESTING.

The thunderbirds were set up in the local electric company; the factory burned coal and coke if the scrubbers and smoke stacks were any indication. And more importantly there was always a dim layer of smog before the tops of the exhaust vents were visible. The birds were practically invisible in their chosen heights. They had pulled the top scrubber out of one stack and were stuffing cows (and agents) down in the space between the main cycler and the outer steel plating. Apparently babies preferred their meat smoked. He came to with his head stuffed at an awkward angle under Yama's arm, his chin bearing the brunt of his weight since most of his body was wedged above his damn chin and against Yama....and cow. Well then. He was kind of grateful he hadn't broken his damn neck in the drop?

The birds were sitting at the top of the smoke pipe. They were blocking smoke release.

And CO2 release.

And that was probably why he giggled helplessly once he managed to wiggle off his damn chin. "Shiiiiiit....this can kill us!" Carbon Monoxide poisoning was not a dignified way to go really.

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See? He had every right to make it a priority!

"Fuck if I care which one," Dera snorted. "And neither of us are mediums, they aren't likely to peg us among the however many thousands tend to go through the fucking place." JUST SAYING!

Huh, the mountain spirit huh? "Not a bad idea, but you remember how twitchy her domain is, we could get locked there for decades if someone chops a tree while we're visiting."

"With our luck?" They practically had supernatural bullseyes painted on them, from all the weird situations they ran into.

He was quiet perhaps a handful of seconds too long, considering that. "...Would that really be bad?"

"Yours is better than mine," he noted. "And I promise not to open any rifts while being bored in line?" THEY COULD TRY!

Oh. Huh. He was serious about that huh? "I'd get bored," he pointed out a touch regretfully. "And you'd get married or her Tengu would kill us both."

"Ha! Can you imagine some little kid's face if one of those frog things popped out?" Maybe they could dress it up, pretend it's a movie character or something.

He'd been nearly eaten (twice) by a giant, angry bird. You rethought some things when that happened. He'd get over it, though. He always did. "Yeah, guess you're right." ... "Maybe Disney wouldn't be so bad. They've got one in Tokyo, too. At least we're used to all the monsters and stuff there."

"Maybe we should look at that fucking Hawaii retreat Disney does? Snorkeling could be fun, and you could show them up in sushi." Totally. He had faith in his partner! And hey, while Disney was plastering Atlantis symbols on things near safe dives they might actually find something interesting!

"Not saying we can't go see the mountain spirit...I just want a way out that doesn't rely on me getting out through a hole and blasting the mountain open to get you. That would hurt her."

"...Snorkeling in a tropical ocean?" That didn't seem like a bad idea to him? He'd been the one that had forbidden anymore biting, after all.

He sighed, reaching back to poke Gokudera's stomach. "Already said you're right. Ha, maybe the bad air in here's blocking your ears or something."

"Sue me I kinda assume you can beat the shit out of any fish we encounter." Because Yama was a fish predator, yup. Top of the line, above the shark in food chain predator!

"No, I heard you," he admitted, catching Yama's wrist in amusement, "I just really do like her. Which is weird for me, think it's one of her abilities? But going to see ehr some time wouldn't be a bad idea, just...yeah, damn whammied brain."

"What about monster whales? Whales aren't fish." Now he was just being a brat. Oh well.

He wiggled his fingers, letting Gokudera keep the wrist if he really wanted. "Gokudera liking someone? That is weird." Mood officially gone. Points to Gokudera on that one.

"I'd be more likely to put my money on angry volcano gods," he admitted, "maybe we could just barricade ourselves in our room for a week and call it a vacation?" Except they'd go stir crazy. Being them was hard sometimes.

And, well, it was his wrist now thank you very much! "Totally fucking weird, your social is fucking rubbing off on me!"

So stir crazy. Did Gokudera really want to be in a small, enclosed space with Yamamoto for that long? Without exercise or near-death adrenaline rushes to clear off energy?

"Naw, that's not possible. I'm good, but I can't do miracles."

No, not really. He'd start opening portals and pulling in frogs just so Yama had something to kill after a day or two! It was part of the care and feeding of the sword master and all!

"Allow me my fucking delusions and shit," he snorted. "But fine, I'm not social."

Just think of the mess that would leave, too! They'd have to move and just tear the carpet up. Talk about never getting a security deposit back, they'd be lucky if they didn't have to pay extra.

"Nope." And maybe he sounded just a smidge proud of that. "More for me."

Eh, it was company property anyway, so it wasn't like they had to answer to an apartment company anyway!

"...more what?" Because that could go SO MANY ways there. "Should I be fucking jealous of the social and actually try to take some back?"

More Gokudera, of course, but Yamamoto just laughed. "Ha! I don't know, should you be?"

He actually stretched his legs across Yama's and leaned back on the metal wall of the hole, the picture of ease as he thought that over, finally, "nah. That'd be fucking pointless and I'd burn out trying to fucking compete in that area. If the social gets too out of hand I"ll just start fucking reading in your lap in public and shit. I'm good at tuning people out!" Or more public than the rec room anyway!

They were obviously both still a little loopy, but he didn't mind at all. Gokudera was fun when he was having a weird moment. "You gonna go back to trying to convince the librarians to let you check all that stuff out?"

"Fuck no! Then they know when I've left the library," he snorted, amused. It's not like he let the 'no taking this section from the room' rule seriously. At all. The safest damn place to read them was with Yama at hand after all!

"Please tell me you hear the helicopters? Because I may be fucking hallucinating." Just saying.

He went still, listening, then shrugged as best he could in their current position. "Helicopter or the birds have figured out a new trick. Haha, maybe that's the sound of them charging one of those big lightning bolts."

Ever the optimist, Yamamoto.

"Well fuck, you and your damn mouth. We get zapped in a giant fucking metal tower full of meat and I'm blaming you in the next life." Because if he started bringing them worse luck he'd strangle his partner.

Anyway. "Flare marker just in case? They'd got the damn tags on the birds to avoid them, hopefully they've got tranq guns too."

Was it possible for them to have worse luck and still be alive? If not, that solved Gokudera's dilemma right there. Tada~

The threat was as ineffectual as always, though, because he just kept chuckling, rolling over to dig through Gokudera's pack and eventually hold out the flare gun for him to take. He was closer to the opening and all~

Of course it was, if there was one thing reality liked better than killing people off it was fucking torture.

"Ow," he noted absently as the strap tugging and wiggling woke his shoulders up to the fact that they were hellishly bruised. Well then. Time to ~~shoot down~~ signal their extraction team. "Bet they fucking charge us for damages if the birds scratch the copter paint."

He'd apologize, except he wasn't sorry. Neither of them were in the best shape, but they were almost home, so a little extra pain was worth it. He settled back down, making a point to look as comfortable as possible. "Naw. They try, we just threaten to tell everyone the pilots got out-maneuvered by a couple of overgrown pigeons. You know those guys and their egos." Nearly as bad as Yamamoto's own, really. "They'll never admit where the scratches came from."

Yeah, well, if he'd wanted to make a big fucking deal of it he'd have said more than 'ow'. "Yeah, because last time that worked out so fucking well," he snorted, settling back as well once the flare was off (and hey those bird liked flares, who knew?). "We still got fucking blamed for the slime."

Granted, stuff had been trying to eat the copter and they'd had to cut the damn thing free, but still!

"...Okay, so the slime was different." He shifted a little. "The slime was a lot more our fault." It wasn't often he'd actually take the blame for anything on one of their missions, but... well, yeah. He'd rather fight a sea monster again.

"Hey, how the fuck were we suppose to know the evil temple was on TOP OF another evil temple?" he snorted. "Poor research from the archives department, not our fault at all."

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