You know, it's probably the carbon monoxide levels....

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Who: Dera and Yama
When: Some time after the damn company softball game.
What: Well, and then there were Thunderbirds.

Dera leaned his head back against the overly warm metal and giggled tiredly. Yes, he giggled. It all seemed so damn stupid now. It had been a normal day after all. Yama had been stretched out in the break room after the morning workouts, and he'd been reading a book, his legs draped over his partners...granted, it was a safer book than normal, but no point in taking chances. So, yeah, a normal afternoon mingling with the other agents before getting called off to the office.

It seemed a good week for monster migration. Everyone was getting pulled, their personal assignment? Get their asses to California and tag the first pair of Thunderbirds anyone had seen in decades. Tag. Like they were fucking Bald Eagles or something.

Sure, they were endangered and sure they were awesome as fuck and all that? But tagging. For fucks sake! Their lead had suggested drugging the cattle being stolen so the birds would sleep. Simple plan. Yeah.

Except the fucking BIRDS HADN'T EATEN THE DAMN COWS. One of the pair had scooped up unripe burger and they'd flown off, they were halfway along the flight trail in tailing the pair when the damn things came back. He'd been the one to reach out and grip Yama's wrist; they couldn't kill the birds...plus a sword would be a VERY BAD IDEA with LIGHTNING BIRDS. It wasn't exactly magic, his partner's powers might not cancel out a natural ability like energy conduction.

FUCK FUCK FUCK "Kiss the dirt!" DOWN DOWN DOWN!

The birds were grabbing more cows.

THE FUCK WOULD THEY NEED MORE COWS FOR?

In hindsight he should have figured that one out; when they ran out of cows to snag they went after anything that even moved. Or after anything that had a bioeletric impulse system. He was pretty sure they sensed nerve conduction. And it kinda fucking hurt when they got picked up by giant birds and yanked upward fast enough to force a nosebleed and then blacking out.

Why did normally private creatures migrate across country borders?

Nesting.

FUCKING NESTING.

The thunderbirds were set up in the local electric company; the factory burned coal and coke if the scrubbers and smoke stacks were any indication. And more importantly there was always a dim layer of smog before the tops of the exhaust vents were visible. The birds were practically invisible in their chosen heights. They had pulled the top scrubber out of one stack and were stuffing cows (and agents) down in the space between the main cycler and the outer steel plating. Apparently babies preferred their meat smoked. He came to with his head stuffed at an awkward angle under Yama's arm, his chin bearing the brunt of his weight since most of his body was wedged above his damn chin and against Yama....and cow. Well then. He was kind of grateful he hadn't broken his damn neck in the drop?

The birds were sitting at the top of the smoke pipe. They were blocking smoke release.

And CO2 release.

And that was probably why he giggled helplessly once he managed to wiggle off his damn chin. "Shiiiiiit....this can kill us!" Carbon Monoxide poisoning was not a dignified way to go really.

Comments

[kaerunoko]

No. No, there were plenty of other things than giant birds that tried to eat them and glorified evil slugs to enjoy about this job. They were not it.

"Chainsaw?" That'd be nice, but also probably counter to their original purpose of not killing the endangered species. "Or some way of going out through the wall instead of up. Probably safer, too. Pretty sure they'd just try to eat the first thing that popped up underneath them."

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Hahah, you wouldn't let me stick a chainsaw in a hole remember?" Something about alien tentacled horrors emerging armed with rotating saw blades!

He was a spoilsport sometimes.

"...ice climbing gear? That'll let us climb down the outside..."

[kaerunoko]

Hey, that was a perfectly valid worry, considering it was the entire reason they'd been teamed up in the first place. Well, tentacled horrors, anyway. Not so much with chainsaws.

Yet.

"Kinda noisy, though." He was poking and tugging on the bottom of the nest, still considering it. "That'd probably get us eaten, too." Lots of things would get them eaten on this mission, apparently.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Aw, nothing about hitting it off or actually being able to tolerate each other? That had to count for something, right?

Granted, he might have tried to get along with anyone that kept him from being locked away in stasis as a threat. Tried being the operative term.

Maybe.

Okay yeah he had a fucking temper.

"Yeah, well, option for getting us back down once we figure all the shit out." Alright, what would actually be useful...? "We switch places, I set up the hole just under the nest, the cold chases them off?"

[kaerunoko]

Well, sure, but a lot of that all came after. The tentacled horrors were the original reason for getting shoved together to begin with.

"Think it'd work?" Cause it was definitely the best idea so far, and if they were desert critters, they probably wouldn't enjoy a cold draft. "...Think we can get away with just tagging the nest and letting someone else come finish up?"

Because he wasn't even sure he cared about getting away with it so much as getting away right now.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Well, they're nesting," Dera admitted thoughtfully. "They may hunker down and fucking try to keep the eggs warm." Which meant they could probably still tag the bastards? By reaching up through the nest.

Fuck.

"want to risk it?"

[kaerunoko]

"...Not like I have any better ideas. There's a little more room up here, so you come up first." He'd just... try to see how far down they could go while Gokudera played air conditioner.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Gotta love when we're out of options," he snorted, closing the hole and starting back upward. No point taking it up into Yama's range after all.

"...I love your idea if of 'a little more room'," he snorted once her was squeezed next to his partner.

[kaerunoko]

"Hey, my elbow's not in your neck up here. That's more room, right?" It was enough room for them to get past each other, and that was all he needed. And without a cowhead in the way, too. Double bonus.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"Only because your hands aren't up above your head," otherwise there would TOTALLY be elbows in his neck! "Not like people aren't going to ask about the fucking interesting bruises anyway though." Seriously, the one thing the BPRD liked better than monsters was gossip.

Oh well, not like they weren't used to it.

"And seriously, move your ass Takeshi. Nice as this is, well, larders just aren't my fucking thing." Yes, that was pure teasing now, but they needed it today.

[kaerunoko]

There was always talk when they came back from missions. If they weren't used to it by now, something was wrong.

"Really? Coulda fooled me!" They really did need the teasing, though, especially as Yamamoto started the precarious climb back down to where they'd started.

He thought he'd name the cow Miki. One of the girls who'd confessed to him when he was still in school had been named Miki and she'd sorta had cow-eyes. Less glassy and dead, but the intent was there.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Eh, they were one of the more interesting pairs in their division? At least Monica-dating-the-ex-nazi-revenant was more interesting most days of the week?

"Well, when you put it like that..." Dera drawled, leaning on a tree...root? Yeah, that was a whole fucking tangle of ROOTS..."you were complaining that I never get you out anywhere nice." And here they were, cozy atmosphere, euphoric air, interesting athletic challenges...

"That's the silence of you being weird down there." JUST SAYING. As soon as Yama was out of range he opened a larger hole, aimed upward at the nest bottom. Here was to hoping the birds didn't like central cooling.

[kaerunoko]

And as long as either of them avoided becoming an ex-Nazi-revenant, hopefully it'd stay that way.

"It's still true. Haha, anywhere you have to seriously consider unfreezing a bunch of leeches can't be that nice." Not that he normally complained all that much, current situation notwithstanding. Most of the time he even liked his job. When it didn't involve Miki the Dead Wonder Cow. "While you're up there, having a break, I'm digging through dead stuff trying to see if there's a better exit down here, and the thanks I get?" He shook his head, making a sad tsk-ing sound. "Harsh, Gokudera."

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Yeah, well, as long as they managed to avoid joining any creepy ass racist clubs while time traveling...

"Awwww, you don't like the accommodations? Seriously, I was on the phone with the agent for hours..." He was hurt! He really was! "Next you're going to tell me room service sucks and to cancel the cruise next month..." Some gratitude!

He was going to end up giggling again. Damn it.

"Thank you for being weird down there instead of up here. I don't need you naming my holes again!"

[kaerunoko]

Time traveling should be like Vegas. What happened in 1933, stays in 1933.

Yamamoto snickered, knee-deep in rodents, and wasn't this the life. "I can totally name it from down here! They all look the same, anyway. Maybe we could just keep a running count. Blowhole 1, Blowhole 2... You know, keep it simple."

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Shit never stayed in 1933. It was a crappy year. Vegas was an idea though.

"Tell me the other shit you've named instead," Dera snorted, peering down at the man. "I know you. Who the fuck are our temporary companions in this fucking stackpike?"

[kaerunoko]

"I don't think Miki appreciates being called names, Gokudera." So maybe it was one of those weird stress reactions that the counselor on payroll liked to sigh a lot over. At least it was a relatively harmless one?

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"...the fuck is Miki?" Because why not? It's not like they had anything better to talk about right now!

[kaerunoko]

"The cow." Well, one of the cows, or maybe all of the cows? He made it sound so perfectly reasonable, though.

"Hey, changed my mind. Toss my spare sword down here, will you?" It was sharper and more durable than his boot knife, and he was less attached to it than his normal sword, so it would be perfect for trying to cut a way out and see how high up they were.

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

The beef mass was named Miki? "Someone you thought highly of," obviously. "And people think you're the polite one." Sheesh.

...of course he'd change his mind. Right. Time to reach up into the hole again. "Make up your fucking mind already. Good enough not good enough, just the...oh. Frog." As in 'BIG As FROG IN THE HOLE HAS MY ARM NOW YAY.'

He hated frogs.

[kaerunoko]

Why was Gokudera such a packrat? If he didn't let the big ass frogs hang around so much... "You need me?" Miki was entirely forgotten and Yamamoto's focus back on the task at hand, so at least that part was maybe a plus?

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

"...not yet?" He decided, leaning into his hole to beat on the damn thing. And hey, it wasn't like he collected them! Frogmen monsters were kinda like tentacle monster foot soldiers or something! They just kinda HAPPENED out there in hole-land!

Hell, they'd probably drawn it's attention by keeping this hole open so long to cool the nest above.

"Would it piss you off if I told you it's touching your sword?"

[kaerunoko]

Yes, but they especially seemed to enjoy 'just happening' around Gokudera's storage. Or maybe it was just the holes he used. Or maybe both. Yeah, their lives, probably both.

His eyes narrowed. "It's touching my sword, or it's trying to eat my sword?"

[unrelenting_rhapsody]

Yeah, well, they hadn't found anyone (alive) who could open holes like Dera so far okay? It could just be any damn hole that sparkled in their darkness drew their attention!

"Unless it's started chewing with it's feet, not eating." Nope. "You want him if I can pull him through?" Yama hadn't got to kill anything yet this mission, he needed a treat, right?

[kaerunoko]

He hadn't, and he did, but his hesitation and eventual sigh said he realized it probably wouldn't be the best idea right now. "No room, and our luck, it'd get loose and we'd get blamed for it."

It'd be their fault, so they should, but that was beside the point.